It’s been a fairly busy few weeks with moving house and everything, but I’ve been contacting a few charities nearby to find help and/or volunteering and things.
Yesterday, I met with a lady from a charity and we got chatting. I explained what had happened over the past few months and where I was at with everything. She was really lovely. It’s exciting because it sounds like I can get involved with them and do some creative things again (something I’ve really been missing!). The thing that really came as a surprise to me was when she told me it sounded like I had lots to offer and could really do some things with them. I’m meeting them again on Friday to come up with a bit of a plan of action.
It shocked me how much it hit me when she said I had a lot to offer. I don’t think I’d realised how far my confidence had fallen. It made me want to cry. In fact I basically came home and did cry because someone saw something in me, which I have lost the ability to see in myself. With not going back to uni, and still being in the process of applying for jobs and other things, I’ve been feeling rather useless. I’m still getting help from various people around trying to get my head a bit clearer and I often feel like I’m just ‘sponging’, so to speak, and giving nothing back. That’s not really ‘me’; since leaving school (and a little before), I have lived life as a serial volunteer, so where I currently am is a far cry from the person I was a year ago, or even six months ago.
Having someone believe in me and see potential in me just lifted me up. I text my friend to tell her and she basically told me I was a doughnut because of course I have valuable skills and things – but I struggle to see it in all that’s happened. I’m getting there but it’s going to take a lot of reassurance, hard work, perseverance and a lot of people telling me what they see as obvious and I struggle to see. There are going to be some good days, some not so good days, and some downright crap days. But I’m trying, and I will get there, I just have to be patient and keep trying.